Family Life

What now?

The maternity leave is almost over and most working mothers are haunted with the dreaded question: Who should I entrust my baby to when I get back to work? Most often there are only two options, either a day care or hiring a nanny. Neither is very exciting, especially for a new mom.
A nanny is a very common option, especially in countries like Brazil where hiring someone to look after the baby is so cheap. But who are these people we’re entrusting our babies’ care? Most of them are young girls, with low education and even lower career options. Many have close to no experience at all, but seem kind and “good with children”. Is this enough?
How can we be sure our little ones are well cared for? First of all, check for references, even if the person was indicated by someone you know. Invite the applicant for an interview and ask questions about why she left her previous job, how old were the children, her expectations for the job etc. If possible, introduce her to the child and give them some time to bond, see what happens. Children are very good with first impressions. Finally, try to stay around as much as possible during the first week. That should give you just enough time to see if it works.
For those moms who feel safer about leaving their children in a day care, there are some tips too. According to Alice, a physical therapist who raises Vitor, her 10 year old son alone, safety was the main reason why she chose to send him to a day care.
“I knew he was cared for by professionals and if anything happened to him, they would know just what to do. He was always happy to go there and had many little friends.” She says. Doing some research and asking for references is also important when looking for a nice place to leave the children.
There’s no right or wrong answer in the end. The most important thing is to do whatever makes the parents feel more comfortable and safe.

Text: Marina Ramalho
Pics: Digital Vision

Spending our time (Enchendo Lingüiça)

I’m a great defender of quality time between parents and children. Specially after caring for kids who were not my own, I realized how much it meant for them to have that little moment together, whether listen to a bedtime story, help me prepare a snack or maybe watch a movie together.
About two weeks ago, I heard the following statement from a 10 year old boy whose parents are separated: “ My dad doesn’t spend time with me. Every time I spend a day with him, instead of talking or doing something with me, we go to the beach and he hangs out with the grown ups. It’s the same as nothing.”
I was devastated. Not only by the boy’s situation, but by his perception that even though he spends time with his dad, this time is badly used. This week I’ll suggest an activity for busy parents interested in creating “their moment” with their children while stimulating a very healthy habit: Reading.
It doesn’t matter how old your children are, books can be an excellent instrument for bonding with them. The little ones who can’t read by themselves yet, will certainly love to have stories read to them, especially if the parents get in the mood and make up different voices, point out details in the pictures and stimulate their children’s logical thinking with questions about the story.
The older ones might enjoy a longer book, read with the parents, a chapter every night.
The whole group might take turns reading and in picking the next book. I had a very rewarding experience while taking turns to read with Sebastian, one of the children I cared for in Germany. Whenever we read in German, he would get two pages and I (due to my horrible pronunciation) one. We could look up the meaning of a new word together in the dictionary and sometimes we would dictate passages of the stories. When we decided to start reading Harry Potter in English during summer vacation, we inverted the amount of pages and a few days later, Klara, Sebastian’s 3 year old sister joined us in our reading sessions.
Let the children pick the next books, turn that trip to the bookstore or library into a hunting adventure! And maybe, why not suggesting they write their own stories and read it together later? Books can be used to work new concepts and ideas, stimulate imagination and abstract thinking and our little ones will only thank us for that! So? Are you ready for the next adventure?

Text and translation: Marina Ramalho